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from Gilly by Gillian Rae Perry

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about

TW: disordered eating

lyrics

Sometimes my thoughts
Are like a big empty room
I don’t walk into
But I walk right through
Not a chair in sight
To ponder the truth
But the floor’s just fine
And it would do
If my legs would stop moving
Two at a time
I could figure it out
Now times all mine but

I don’t wanna create anymore
I don’t wanna behave anymore
I don’t wanna turn the page anymore
I don’t wanna be ashamed anymore

And I’m so tired
You don’t get it it’s a fear of failure
That keeps me sitting in my room most nights
That keeps me feelin’ alone all the time

Rooms with no mirror are all
I can take can’t stand my reflection not even in a lake
‘Cause sometimes it’s harder than I’d like to admit
To see my own body attached to my head
And sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever get it back
That feeling of wonder when
You give all you have but

I don’t wanna create anymore
I don’t wanna behave anymore
I don’t wanna turn the page anymore
I don’t wanna be ashamed anymore


And I’m so tired
You don’t get it it’s a fear of failure
That keeps me sitting in my room most nights
That keeps me feelin’ alone all the time

And I’m so hungry I can’t eat a proper meal till Sunday
and they say it’s a control thing
but I’m out of control

Someday I’ll wake up feeling alive
Someday I’ll say so and I’ll really be fine
But someday’s along time when you’re alive
And you’ve fought this fight
More than just a few times

Sometimes I wake up feeling alright
Sometimes I say so and I actually am fine
But sometimes not all the time and
It’s just a lie
A lie I’ve told more than just a few times

And I’m so tired
You don’t get it it’s a fear of failure
That keeps me sitting in my room most nights
That keeps me feelin’ all alone all the time

And I’m so hungry I can’t eat a proper meal till Sunday
and they say it’s a control thing
and I’m out of control

credits

from Gilly, released February 26, 2021

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Gillian Rae Perry Los Angeles, California

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